veneficusvenato (
veneficusvenato) wrote2011-10-19 06:49 am
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[After The First Order Meeting; Locked to Dean]
One of the great things about having a pub?
There aren't always whole lot of people in it in the morning.
Some people who are staying the inn are down, eating breakfast.
But the general buzz of this morning is the quiet of silence and privacy.
Which means that Jo can go about doing other things this morning.
Which at present is reading her mail over the main counter.
There aren't always whole lot of people in it in the morning.
Some people who are staying the inn are down, eating breakfast.
But the general buzz of this morning is the quiet of silence and privacy.
Which means that Jo can go about doing other things this morning.
Which at present is reading her mail over the main counter.
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Whatever she's into, whatever she needs ...
Dean has to look away, unable to keep her gaze. You can't stare at the sun and not get blinded.
"I mean it. I know there's ... we didn't part on the best terms, but - Jo, I mean it."
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In taking another drink of her coffee.
"You going to keep reporting to the meetings?"
Business. But it isn't either.
Not when she needs to know.
If he's going to be here.
Keep being here.
Stand there. Sitting there. Near her.
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Dean nods, gulping scalding coffee so that he can talk again. "Mm. Yeah. There's - it's not all --"
He swallows again, frowning. The perils of being an Unspeakable are - well, encapsulated in the name, really.
"The Ministry's becoming --"
Sigh.
Try again.
"Yeah, I'm sticking with you."
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Pretending her stomach hadn't clenched.
Painfully, hard and sudden like a jolt.
"Yeah. It's the same on this side."
"Hogwarts?" Is a question about the direction.
Except she only thinking of his last words.
He's going to be here. Stuck to her.
Often.
Breathing was overrated.
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He wishes he didn't feel anything in particular about this.
An Order run by Jo. Seeing her every meeting.
Christ.
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What it means that they gave her the amounts to an army.
How certain specific people must be about what is going on.
And all she can think of is him.
To do this. See him that often.
She's glad for the coffee cup.
Her knuckles briefly whitening.
Sokka & Lee were one thing.
Dean was wholly another.
"Good." Wait. Fuck.
Her mouth was hers.
Qualifiers. She needed -
"'Least I won't doubt my updates."
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Good. He can almost leave.
Because this is -- the way she's looking at him --
This kind of hurts.
"Nice of y'to say."
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And then it's awkward.
Not that it wasn't before.
But he's looking at his cup.
And. What is she really supposed to ask?
About his family? About his job? About whether he's dating?
She doesn't want to know if there is someone waiting for him right now. Doesn't want to know how easy it was to replace her. Doesn't want to know if that number of girls is as high as the people she never even gave the chance to replace him.
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The length of maybe five minutes time.
She doesn't stand. Just nodded, setting hers down.
"Yeah. No problem."
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Five minutes' time and he just needs to get out. This is ridiculous. It's a parody of what they used to have and it's not the funny kind.
"Nice to see you again."
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This is Jo's opinion.
"You, too."
Is so thin.
Polite.
But everything is stuck.
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This was a bad idea. He shouldn't have come.
He turns away. It's the hardest thing he's done in a while. And he walks for the door.
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He even gets about ten feet away.
Before she feels like suffocating.
Like the knot in her stomach?
Is crushing her throat.
"Dean." Escapes.
Defeating.
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What to say. How to breathe.
Looking at his face.
How long it's been.
How she's going to manage.
Even just the Order Meetings.
Except she has to. Except he's looking at her.
There's nothing. There's no way to explain how or what.
But her mouth opens, words coming because they're habit, not choice.
She can't recognize, doesn't -- "Stay safe, okay?" -- until she hears them.
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Or maybe more accurate: Dean freezes. Just for a second. Then he half-shrugs, lifts one shoulder.
Keeps walking away.
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And Jo finally swears.
It could have been anything.
Any other two English words.
Anything but that.